


What Is Missing

by Originia



Category: Senyuu.
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, alba finds he didn't hate ross as much as he thought, alba introspection, alba is missing ross, don't really know what else to say here, kinda drabble-y, set between volume 1 and 2, what is missing, with a little actual story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:12:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Originia/pseuds/Originia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never really got used to that absence at his side where Ross had once stood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Companionship

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 was posted on tumblr some months ago. Chapter 2 is new. Was unfinished way back when, and going back and looking at it now, I figured I might as well wrap it up. This might get more chapters should inspiration allow.

It took longer than he expected to get used to the absence at his side where Ross had once stood. 

Right when he would expect a harsh reprimand for a foolish action, or an undeserved strike for being 'wide open', Alba would be stuck by the realization that was, in fact, alone. There would be no sudden, unprovoked attacks, or loud, degrading comments. That seemingly incessant narration of his shortcomings was gone, following Ross to wherever that snarky, abusive man had disappeared to.

Alba sometimes found himself wondering whether he hadn't somehow grown sort of used to being constantly criticized. The sudden and complete absence of badly-timed insults or hurtful jokes had made him, in one way or other, inexplicably sad.

Perhaps Ross had been right. Maybe there was something a bit wrong with him.

Alba smiled, unbidden, then shook his head. Now was not the time for such thoughts.

“Right,” he said aloud, another habit he hadn't quite ridden himself of yet. “Eastern forest, here we are. Time to go defeat some monsters."


	2. Safety

He also never quite got used to the absence of that odd, completely undeserved feeling of safety that had lightened his chest whenever Ross had been near.

It had taken Alba far longer than he would have thought to figure out what exactly that dark, indistinct feeling of anxiety that had shadowed him was. Days, weeks, months after Ross had disappeared, Alba had travelled, defeating monsters and saving towns in the name of the king. He got stronger. He got older, and a bit more wiser. He even got to the point where he was, for the most part, content with his ability to protect himself and those near him. But Alba never managed to reach a point where the coiled, buried sense of unease released its hold, vanishing from chest just like Ross had vanished with the demon lord. 

Even knowing it was there, a kind of incessant agitation that had him always on edge, it still took a very specific event, late one night, in a forest teeming with monsters before Alba finally realized what it was he was missing.

Because he had called for Ross, in a panic, and Ross of course wasn't there.

He had defeated the monsters that had ambushed him, in that forest. He had managed by himself. But Alba had more that a few scratches to show for it. 

And of course, the fact remained that when he had been in danger -- in _real_ immediate danger -- he had instinctively reached out for someone who would have once protected him.

Someone who was now no longer there. 

And with him went that feeling of safety. Of being protected. Of having someone trusted to watch his back when the time really called for it. 

Alba figured there would be two ways to ensure he would never feel that desperation again. Get Ross back. Or get strong enough so that he'd never be in that kind of danger again.

He set his mind to achieving both.


End file.
